കൊല്ലവര്ഷം 1189 ചിങ്ങം ഒന്ന്

കര്‍ക്കിടകം തീര്‍ന്നാല്‍ ദുര്‍ഘടം തീര്‍ന്നു എന്ന ചൊല്ല് ഓർത്തുകൊണ്ട്‌,

കര്‍ക്കിടകത്തിന് വിട പറയുന്നു!

ചിങ്ങമാസത്തെ വരവേല്‍ക്കാനായി പുതിയ പ്രതീക്ഷകളോ ആഗ്രഹങ്ങളോ ഇല്ല. ശൂന്യമായ ഒരു മനസ്സുമാത്രം!

'എല്ലാ ചോദ്യങ്ങള്‍ക്കും ഉത്തരം ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നെങ്കിൽ' എന്ന മനസ്സ് എന്നോട് മന്ത്രിച്ചു. ഒരു വട്ടമല്ല . പലവട്ടം.

ഒന്നിനോടും വിരക്തി തോന്നുനില്ല..... ജീവിതത്തെ ഒരുപാടു സ്നേഹിക്കുന്നു.

എങ്കിലും എന്തോ ഒന്ന് ഈ ജീവിത യാത്രയിൽ നഷ്ട്ടപെട്ടപോലെ തോന്നുന്നു . ചിലപ്പോൾ അത് വെറും തോന്നൽ മാത്രമാകാം അല്ലെങ്കിൽ അത് യാഥാര്‍ത്ഥ്യവും. 

സത്യവും മിഥ്യയും തമ്മിൽ വേർതിരിച്ചറിയാൻ കഴിയാതെ പോയ പല സന്ദര്‍ഭങ്ങള്‍ ഉണ്ടായിട്ടുണ്ട്‌ ഈ യാത്രയിൽ ..

പക്ഷെ അതെല്ലാം എന്നെ ഇന്നത്തെ ഞാനാക്കി എന്ന് വിശ്വസിക്കുവാൻ ഞാൻ പഠിച്ചു തുടങ്ങിയിരിക്കുന്നു. ഇനിയും എന്തെല്ലാം പഠിക്കുവാൻ ഉണ്ട്. അല്ലേ ?

ജീവിതാവസാനം വരെ നമ്മൾ ഓരോരുത്തരും വിദ്യാർത്ഥികൾ മാത്രം !

എന്‍റെ മാത്രം ഭ്രാന്തൻ ചിന്തകള്‍ !!!

പുതുവര്‍ഷത്തെ  പ്രാര്‍ത്ഥനയോടെ വരവേല്‍ക്കാം!

എല്ലാവരെയും ദൈവം അനുഗ്രഹിക്കട്ടെ !

എന്ന്,

ആര്യ സുഭാഷ് കെ

~~Dance of Death by Dance of God~~

She had a dream, to learn dance.

Unfortunately it just remained as a wish, unfulfilled.

Dance became her passion and she began to fall in love with dance.

She was not a talented dancer, but still she danced.

I wanted to write about dance but as usual, but I ended up in some other thoughts-as always crazy me in crazy world with crazy thoughts.

I found a letter from a little child who is an orphan, but not by birth.

She lost her parents. She lost all her belongings. For two weeks she remained hungry. Now she is in this rehabilitation centre. There is nothing she wants now other than peace. Peace-That which cannot be bought with money.

Dear God,

I was fascinated by your dance, but I never thought I would be a victim of your furious dance. It was Thandav...destruction.... People said it was Lord Shiva’s Thandav...Nature's Thandav....

Maybe it was. Was it you expressing your anger against US-against the arrogant, selfish, greedy HUMANS.  

I loved my small home near the river banks in Kedarnath. Now it is a graveyard. My mother, father and my little brother is somewhere there buried in that graveyard. During those last moments with my family, I just remember my father holding me tightly and he was uttering “Namah Shivaya”. And now instead of my father, a kind Jawan is holding my hand. Nothing else I remember. My relatives were there in Badrinath. Now, I don’t know how they are and where they are. Maybe they are no more.

God, I am sad...I am so unlucky. Why you didn’t take my life? From now on I will be a burden for many. I am not criticizing you.  Ah how long can you remain silent?

On one side, technology is improving, developments are happening. Are all these making human life more comfortable and easy? What about God’s wonderful gift- Prakrithi (Nature)? Anyone concerned about it? Why don’t humans use latest technologies for saving the nature rather than destroying it? 

Now I realize that we all are part of a race, a race to win, a race to be famous and a race to earn more and more money. Ultimately will all these satisfy us? We are only worried about our comfort and pleasure. When are people going to learn.....to change...they had chances....they had choices....but they did not bother, including me.... I feel pity for all, I feel pity for myself. How can I remain silent just like others? Why can’t I do anything?

Oh God, I always thought I was lucky to be born as a human, but now some thoughts bother me. It was better to take my life Lord. I don’t want to be a part of this ignorant and arrogant world.

With love,

~~A child victim of furious Dance of Death.

People feel they are much powerful than God. They feel they are successful in conquering nature. They have purposefully forgotten divinity and spirituality. 

All are wearing different type of masks. Pretending Faces! Genuineness is vanishing from the lives of people.

                                                                                     

Isolated and some kind of loneliness! I feel lonely and I feel all alone. I need someone to count on.... (Not my words...but one of my friend's famous words... I believe it was something he may have said genuinely from his heart, but now those are just few funny words we all, including me laugh at). Solitude, neither an answer nor a cure!

A new dimension to the thought of loneliness....

When I note this down here, I am saying it genuinely  from my heart and it may be funny for many. I feel lonely and I feel all alone. I need someone to count on...someone very special, someone who can show them right, someone who can guide these people including me, someone who can love, care, share and that someone is none other than you, Lord.

God, I want you to be born again as a Human and show us Humans how to live. I just remembered these lines from the song Krishna Ne Begane by colonial cousins. I think this song will describe my feelings right now.

"So come back as Jesus, Come back and save the world Bless all the future of every boy and girl Come back as Rama, Forgive us for what we've done Come back as Allah, Come back as anyone"( Click the above sentence for the youtube vedio of the song)

(This song was so powerful; hence my dear Amritians 07 batch chose to dance on this song. I need a moment of your valuable time to be thankful to them for showing their love and respect towards me)

Someone said to me once, Life would be easy if you take things lightly. I don't know how true it is. Though I close my eyes, shut my ears and seal my mouth, my soul doesn't allow me to 'rest in peace'. 

My mind is full of doubts and soul has started to dance.

I want to dance... I want to enjoy Thandav...but not this destruction....!

Hear my frustrations:  Enjoy the poem!

Ah...Forgot to tell you, the ‘SHE’ mentioned in the first paragraph is not that poor orphan girl but none other than me.

Yesterday it was Uttrakhand, many suffered, we all watched.

Who knows tomorrow it might be here in Kerala, others watching and we all suffering. Humans don’t care...do they?

Medias are behind the cheap gossips and stupid politics...

Are they not loyal to us or is that we are not loyal to each other?

Are they not worried about natural calamities and those suffering people or is that we are least worried about it? 

It was one of my dreams to visit Manasasarovar Lake, Kedarnath and Badrinath but now I feel that I don’t want to be a part of that tourist population who values excitement and fun more than love and care for the nature.  

I too belong to this cruel society and this thought makes me insecure and unhappy.Kill me Lord! Though my pain is not physical, though I am neither paralysed nor comatised, my brain has stopped working just like many others. I am frustrated with myself and those careless people. I am suffering and I want to relieve this pain. 

My heart bleed for justice and my soul plead for mercy.

Now, I am experiencing the complexity of human heart and it’s time to experience the beauty of human heart....

Now I need a change....And it is for good...

I don't know where to start, but I have strong faith in you.

'Undoubted Faith’ in the ‘Supreme Power' makes me strong enough to live in this pathetic world.

I need to pray now, that is what I want now, peace of mind-I think prayer is the quick solution for calming my soul...Heal Me God!

While travelling through the journey of life I was gifted with a special prayer, noting it down here...maybe at some point of your life, you will need it too.

" I pray for a lot of things due to ignorance but whatever you intend for me, that which you consider best for me, that which is as per your divine plan for me, whatever ought to be done through my mind, body and soul on this beautiful earth. God please get those done. Please do forgive me for the sins I have done knowingly and unknowingly. Kindly guide me through the right path and to take right decisions at the right time. Thanking you for all your blessings for me and others, Love you God"

 Sometimes words are not enough to express your emotions, we search hard for those valuable words to express those priceless feelings. These days I struggled a lot to put those thoughts into words and still it remain incomplete. Not at all satisfied with myself and this writing.....

We may not be perfect and complete. We may be imperfect and incomplete. There is a beauty in that imperfectness and incompleteness!  What did I wanted to convey, speak out and express and what did I convey, speak out and expressed.  Ultimately everything should end well.

Explore & Live Life with Zest & Commitment...

Before saying Goodbye to you, I want to mention something more. (Sorry for testing your patience).

Salute to the dedicated and committed Indian Army Force for risking their lives and saving many lives in Uttrakhand. 

Dear Soldiers, at least you are doing your duties perfectly and serving the nation. 

This post is a tribute to My dear Indian Soldiers. 

Quoting the word of assurance of Army Chief “Will stay till last person is rescued in Uttarakhand”.

Proud of you  Chief and your entire team! 

( Click the above sentence for more photos....)

(When I saw these photos.....remembered the orphan girl who wrote that letter to God. 

Like her how many have become orphans....? How many more waiting to be rescued....

Mother Teresa said “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”

I am not sure whether I can even cast a stone but I realize that, I want to live a life of quality!

Remembering the lines from my own poem...

"No one can change them, no one.

Nothing can change them, nothing at all!

The only thing that can be changed,

Its me -"myself"

We celebrate our life to max right- buying costly dresses, possessing hi-tech electronic devices, having food at expensive restaurants, watching new generation movies and going for parties.

There is nothing wrong in it. Life is to explore and enjoy. I too feel the same and do the same. But don't we have some commitment, some humanity left in us?? Maybe we all are helpless or acting helpless, I don't know what holds us back.

At least, I feel I can offer a helping hand to those Uttrakhand victims.

Visit these sites...Maybe you can be a drop in that ocean, a part of a transformation.

http://www.giveindia.org/t-uttarakhand-flood-victims.aspx

https://pmnrf.gov.in/

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/uttarakhand-relief-fund-the-indian-express-citizens--initiative/1132002/

http://aamjanata.com/how-to-send-aid-or-donate-to-uttarakhand-flood-survivors/

Frankly, a few thoughts tried to hinder this decision. I analysed one of them.

It was this thought...

“Will it go wasted, misused? I have a responsibility to know whether it goes to the right persons, to those needy hands instead of those greedy hands”

This thought disturbed me a lot. Still it is worrying me a lot, but I don’t want it to obstruct myself from going forward with the decision of ‘helping hand’.

I quickly found a solution to kill that thought. It was those words and beliefs of my dear Grandpa. 
“When you get a chance, make a choice positively”

(Maybe this is boasting, but I don’t think I am a boaster. Still, I am taking this opportunity to boast a little bit about My Grandpa- Mr. P.R Kochukunju. Though he is no more in this world but his thoughts and actions have influenced my life, quiet a lot. He was a socially committed citizen- a social worker, a freedom fighter and a creative person. I am proud to be your granddaughter. I am going bit personal and emotional....so stopping this feeling here...)

I have got a chance and I am positively making a choice.

Though I know I am MAD and I really want to Make A Difference. At least I can offer some help to others and can satisfy my frustrated mind.

(I offer my sincere congratulations and best wishes to the organisation M.A.D for making a lot of differences in the society- http://makeadiff.in )

We may belong to ‘new generation’, does THAT mean that we are ‘unvoiced generation’ ? 

Catch you all later, maybe in next post!

Till then, think well and take care.
This is your one and only crazy Arya signing off!

                                        

P.N: ‘Corrections to be made’ please let me know. I would like to express my gratitude for spending your precious time here.  Thanks to all folks who have knowingly and unknowingly contributed to this post.